


To Forget

by eustassya



Category: Durarara
Genre: Breakup, Established reationship, I Don't Even Know, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 18:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3498506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustassya/pseuds/eustassya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember..</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Forget

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi all the poor souls readin the crap I write! I have nothing to say other than.. I'm sorry. XD It's basically random crap put together (I think) so.... try and make sense of it? haha. Enjoy my lovelies¬

_It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.. How ironic that it applies to me now, huh.._

__

It had been exactly five days, three hours, twenty-seven minutes and forty-three minutes since he had left that night. Three passing storms, one lightning strike, an earthquake in some other country, and the silent shattering of my heart. Cool autumn wind blew in from my kitchen window, filling the place with the scent of fresh leaves and rain-infused soil and bougainvilleas. Smiling quietly to myself, more to keep from breaking down than from amusement, I made my way to the window, habitually lighting a cigarette. My eyes travelled up to the glittering sky, stars blinking in the pitch-black darkness of the night, the smoke from the burning cigarette filling my apartment. “Heh, even the stars are laughing at me..” I murmured, looking down at the glowing ember end of the cancer stick in my hand. Ah, the choking stinging scent of the cigarette smoke I had always hated so much, why was it suddenly bringing back such memories? It was pathetic, to be honest. I let out a harsh laugh. “I really had to ruin everything again..” I barely noticed the icy cold liquid dripping off my jaw.

We had officially gotten together, after another chase over the city, ending up at the old Raijin campus in the football field where everything had started, undoubtedly the most unlikely couple in the city. They had all been slightly surprised, mumbling congratulations, not knowing whether to be scared or relieved. A beautiful spring it had been, then, with the sakura finally blooming, and the wind light with the fragrance everywhere. He had smiled at me. Held my hand. Brought me to watch movies. Tried to cut down on smoking. Treated me to coffee and truffles and sushi whenever he had the money. I had been his everything. And yet.. he had still left in the end.

That year on my birthday, he baked me a cake, then brought me out. Where are we going, I had asked. All he said was, ‘You’ll see.’ We ended up on the roof of Sunshine 60, looking out over the sparkling bright neon lights of the city. It had been one of the best times of my life, spending my free time with him, taking pictures together, going for sushi, keeping the random little gifts he always gave. He had thought of me before anything else. I would find a trash can keychain, or an embarrassing phone cover I would never use, or a box of 99% cocoa dark chocolate (where did he find that?), or something useless yet cute, lying at my door when I got home. A card, always a card, would be lying under whatever it was that week, carefully written in his messy handwriting, something that didn’t make sense, or sweet, or a reminder for me to eat. All these gifts and cards I kept in my safe, like precious gems I never wanted to lose. Now it was all just painful. I never opened that box again, the things within slowly eating at me from inside.

Suddenly, I could remember every single detail of the past year we had been together. The smell of burnt toast forever present in your apartment. Coffee stains on the table in your kitchen. Your smile, the brightness in your eyes whenever you talked about sweets and cakes and how delicious they were. How you would always smoke in my room, making me clean the air afterwards. Every single time we had dinner, or lunch, together. When you had a day off, and walked to my place at five in the morning only to find that I was asleep. How you would get so worried whenever I had to go for a business meeting, assuming that everyone I dealt with was a shift character. Even the way your messy bleached hair would fly in the wind, the glint of your sunglasses catching the sun’s rays, wrinkles in your bartender uniform after a long day at work. Your lean yet strong body, always burning with your simmering rage, heat seeping into my skin every time we fell asleep watching TV. I missed it. I missed you. Why did you have to leave, Shizu-chan?

Numbly, I went out of my apartment, throwing the burnt-out cigarette down into the streets below, climbing up the remaining two flights of stairs to the roof. It was cold, really cold, even by my standards. I shivered, only wearing a single layer of thin clothes, and the usual fur-trimmed jacket left unzipped and flying out behind me. As the wind tossed my hair into a mess and froze the tears carving a path down my cheeks, I slowly stepped forward, one step at a time. Eventually, jumped up onto the low ledge overhanging the building, sitting with my legs dangling over the edge. I kept a smile on as I pulled out my phone, hitting speed dial 1. The dial tone buzzed loudly in my ear as I waited, looking up at the sky, down at the city lights, at the clouds in the distance shifting closer with the promise of rain. Kachak. Ah, you actually picked up.

“What do you want, damn flea. It’s two in the morning.” You sounded sleepy and annoyed, like I had woken you up from your sleep. That voice that I missed so much, haunting me in my sleep, worsening my chronic insomnia, I almost let out a sob. “Hey, say something. The fuck you call me for?” Pissed. Definitely pissed. Grouchy too, I noticed with a smile. “Oh, nothing. I just wanted to say I love you one last time. Goodbye, Shizu-chan.” “Iza-” Beep. This would be the end.

 


End file.
